Bring me my Basie alternate takes;
Bring me my Commodores of desire:
Bring me my Cornet: O clouds unfold!
Bring me Lips Page soaring higher!
I will not cease from Celebrating Swing,
Nor shall my Blog sleep or my Stats:
Till we have built Fifty-Second Street,
God bless Tom Waller (Fats).
(after William Blake, “And did those feet in ancient time,” much after)
This burst of friendly parody — or is it four-to-the-bar doggerel? — is the result of reading another mass email sent to JAZZ LIVES from a music publicist, which I excerpt below, with details omitted to take it out of the realm of personal abuse:
HOOBOY is the solo project of 23-year old – – – – -, an artist who builds on frenzied electronic tensions with a futuristic take on psychedelic electronic and sampling. With a highly anticipated debut record, HOOBOY has released a new single, showcasing his expert manipulation and interest in translating the surreal into music. The music site Yeehaw, notes how the song “starts at a peak, deconstructs itself and builds vertically from there on, finding intriguing ways to explore the tension between pop formality, the orderly nature of computer programming, and the wild artistic impulses that are currently pulsing.” Another music site, Yesma’am, writes “It’s frenetic, phantasmagoric pop, and it’s often brilliant…- – – – – is lost in the myriad sonic worlds he meticulously crafts throughout this sublime album.”
You get the picture. Asked to choose between the sound of Dave Tough’s drums in the opening choruses of TAPPIN’ THE COMMODORE TILL and music that evokes “the orderly nature of computer programming,” it’s a hard choice. I’d have to struggle for many nanoseconds to figure it out. I might have to ask my friend Stompy Jones for help.
It’s enough to make me want to delete every piece of email unread that comes in without being addressed to “Dear Michael” or “Dear Mr. Steinman.” Music publicists and other cyber-soliciters, take a note from the South: know your audience and address people by name.
And for me, I’m going to translate the surreal into music by getting up from the computer and taking a walk with the Beloved.
May your happiness increase.