IF THE DIET PLAN DOESN’T WORK, TRY THE EXERCISE MACHINE

Did you over-indulge during the holidays? Are your trousers tight around the waist? Has your clothing “shrunk in the dryer”? Well, perhaps you should once again investigate this:

Here’s another one:

Louis believed in this plan — HAVE FUN! — and followed it. (Am I the only one to notice that it is very close, with two or three notable exceptions, to the hallowed Paleo Diet?)

But what if this regimen isn’t enough, even with the addition of the seriously effective Swiss Kriss?

Here’s the answer, “endorsed” by Louis’ pal Bing:

He doesn’t look at all happy, but perhaps he was just beginning. Betty looks far more cheerful:

And so many other famous stars STRETCHED TO HEALTH:

Can’t you see them all STRETCH:

If it worked for Jack Oakie, it will work for you:

And the STRETCH TO HEALTH itself (on sale right now at eBay):

I know some of you might be wondering just what relation this has to JAZZ LIVES. But if Louis loved this plan (and outlived many of his contemporaries) and Bing made money on the endorsement  photograph (ditto), can you deny me the pleasure of posting these delicious oddities?

We love our heroes even when they are offstage.

Now, if you’ll forgive me, I’m off to become svelte.

May your happiness increase!