Who would have thought that advertisements could be so compelling? But now I know. If I were to find a Rudy Muck cornet, I could sound as good as Bobby Hackett did in 1939, which is saying something. It would be helpful if I’d mastered the umlaut, but I could do that:
Then I could go to the Zildjian factory, try out some cymbals. Look out, Gene! Watch out, Dave!
Finally, I could model myself on George Wettling (not a bad thing, ever) — someone who actually seemed to be loyal to the brand he espoused, by playing Gretsch drums in 1949 and 1954:
eBay, of course . . . !