Tag Archives: Search Engine Terms

SEARCH ENGINE TERMS, CONTINUED (MARCH 2014 EDITION)

Questions or search engine terms in bold. These entries, I promise you, are recorded verbatim, not embellished or invented.

 was fats waller in it’s a wonderful life?

(No, but he improved ours.)

who were turk murphy’s wives

(“Mrs. Murphy, Mrs. Murphy . . . ” I long to respond.)

did billie holiday die

Define your terms.

autograph of not that famous deceased guitar teachers 1987

(Possibly the only response here is “Huh?”)

connie boswell reserved

(Ditto.)

thelonious monk and moms mabley

(If there’s a recording of that duet, I want it now.)

louis armstrong uncle tom

(Some people who didn’t understand Louis might have called him that, but you won’t find those four words linked in any equation on this blog.)

and here, a rash of Holiday-fetishism, all in the space of a half-hour one night:

louis mckay 5

louis mckay pictures 2

billie holiday drug use 2 (a constant search for this)

billie holiday husband 2

louis mckay’s death 2

billie holiday funeral 1

billie holiday funeral photos 1

billie holiday weight 1 (this one recurs)

lewis mckay 1

louis mckay and billie holiday 1

louis mckay photos 1

louis mckay and billie holiday obituary 1

was there really a louis mckay in billie holiday’s life? 1

what happened to lois mckay, billie holiday’s third husband 1

louis mckay husband 1

what happen to louis mckay husband of billie holiday 1

billie holiday father

billie holiday’s husbands

I wait for the search engine term “billie holiday music,” but that must be my naivete.

Following on the same logic: great singer = great addiction, we have this question:

was ella fitzgerald a heroin addict

and my current inexplicable favorite:

have you ever heard anything about jazz we are sure you have

perhaps because that was too unwieldy, it returned a week later as:

have you ever heard anything about jazz

Keep searching, Sisters and Brothers!  Do let me know what you find.

May your happiness increase!

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EVERY KIND OF CURIOSITY ONE COULD IMAGINE

envelope

And the award for BEST SEARCH ENGINE TERM of February 2013 goes to . . . .the envelope, please . . . .

fats waller , hew york, meatballs, ralph sutton

Make up your own story — a late-night Italian feast in “hew york,” by Mr. Waller, later recreated by Mr. Sutton?

And the award for LEAST ATTRACTIVE PRURIENT INTEREST IN THE DEAD for February 2013 goes to . . . . the envelope, please . . . .

billie holiday naked pictures

Perhaps a long period of recovery in the fresh air might be prescribed for that writer?  (For myself, I would like all the people who are fascinated by “Billie Holiday” — and the quotation marks are accurate — to listen to her recordings.  Nothing else.)

May your happiness increase.

THE RETURN OF “SEARCH ENGINE TERMS”

It’s that time again: when I share with JAZZ LIVES readers the delightful and often perplexing phrases that readers online have used — like tiny inflatable rafts — to drift towards this blog.  I don’t know what they were thinking to begin with or whether they found solace on the shores of this blog, but I collect these verbal and logical oddities with a mixture of affection and puzzlement.

The first two leave me without an appropriate response:

dressed as a girl by my mother

green and purple flying insect

This search term is a little more relevant, but one wonders what the seeker had in mind: an ordinary picture of someone playing a large brass instrument, its coils wrapped around the player’s head, or someone with his / her head stuck in the instrument.  All suggestions entertained:

head in tuba

The next one makes me think of Zutty Singleton’s ability to play the melody — often in press rolls — on his drum set.  But could Zutty convince us of BODY AND SOUL or perhaps YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?  I wonder:

ballad snare drum

Jazz musicians have social lives, spouses, houses, pets, and more — but why didn’t anyone tell me about this young lady?  I’m at Sofia’s to hear Vince Giordano and the Nighthawks fairly often.  Peter, you could bring her over to say “Hello,” couldn’t you?

peter yarin’s cute girlfriend from iowa

The next artifact is something I must have; I’ll file it next to the Buddy Bolden iPhone app:

joe oliver’s first cd

Louis Armstrong sang that OLD MAN MOSE was dead (a sad thing); here I think we have someone in the grip of phonetic spelling who connects the song to an All-Stars version after 1950.  All right, so I’m trying to make something logical out of this.  (Frankly, it’s “the old man mous” that gets me.):

the old man mous is dead cozy cole

Real estate questions, no doubt, concerning the most popular woman in jazz necrology:

billi holiday’s hous in harlrm

Is this a reference to OSTRICH WALK, or perhaps to a picture of an ostrich playing a plunger-muted trumpet a la Cootie Williams?  The mind reels:

ostrich muffled trumpet music

He didn’t look that large or imposing in the few photos we have of Mr. Beiderbecke, but perhaps the writer is referring to his psychic presence, which is admittedly huge.  At least it’s not the cornet-playing arachnid, Big Spider Back:

big beiderback jazz

I know why the next search engine term makes me rancorous.  It suggests a student in a jazz history program in what we call the Academy looking for a quick answer to a homework assignment / oral presentation / paper.  Plagiarism is the most common and least curable ailment of our times!  And I am also sure that the approved answer is No, because everyone knows that Goodman stole his clarinet technique from Noone and his arrangements from Henderson.  Now I have to lie down:

did benny goodman offer any thing new to jazz

I am amused by this Zionist approach to someone I admire, even though I think Albert Edwin Condon never had a bar mitzvah:

eddie condon jewish

Spelling counts:

mike the knife buddy tate

Does “Swat And Lowdown Low-Down” have anything to do with”green and purple flying insect“?

woody allen benny goodman swat and lowdown low-down

Here’s a pharmacy student who loves jazz, I think:

what drugs billie holiday

The references to Billie make me write, once again, that there is a worldwide fascination with her last husband, Louis McKay, which I would like someone to explain to me.

Until the next batch of SEARCH ENGINE TERMS accumulates, may I wish you all happy searching?

“SEARCH ENGINE TERMS,” 2010

It’s that time again: our irregular compendium of the odd ways that 1) people find this blog, and 2) what they think they are looking for, often the answer to a question or an attempt to locate something vaguely defined.  Here are seven, with some often flippant commentary attached.

fats waller vs billie holiday

I wish I knew what the searcher had in mind: was (s)he considering the repertoire Fats and Billie had in common, or their particular approaches to songs, or their respective popularity or the sales figures of their records?  The image it calls to mind is of Jazz Wrestling or Jazz Boxing.  Fats would have been able to stifle Billie by sheer bulk, but she’d have it over him on mobility, tenacity, and perhaps rage.  And what color trunks would they wear? 

what year did mildred bailey get fat

The mind reels.  What is there to say?  The nature of the question ends all inquiry, I think. 

louis armstrong on cakes

I want to know where this bakery is.  My birthday is in November, and I wouldn’t mind a Louis-cake at all.  Or is “on cakes” rather like “on skates,” modifying the subject in a different way; thus, Louis caught in the act of eating some cake?  Do tell.

song title they called her easy

An actual song, or a mis-hearing of something more familiar? 

youtube carl montana trombone

You know, he worked with the WGJB for a short time — a mountainous player with a wonderful range!

what snare drum did nick fatool play

clyde hurley autograph

These two move me from satire to delight.  To think that someone was asking the first question; to think that someone was sufficiently interested in the  great and little-known trumpeter Hurley . . . these are a pleasure.

A postscript, with amusement.  One day after I posted this, a new entry appeared, its subject the fine trombonist Dion Tucker, whom I’ve seen with David Ostwald’s Louis Armstrong Centennial Band at Birdland on Wednesdays:

dion tucker does he have kids

“Who wants to know?” I say.  Dion, if you read my blog, let me know so that I can put someone’s mind at ease . . .

“SEARCH ENGINE TERMS,” February 2010

When you have a blog — this one or any other kind — you find out the words and phrases that people have used on Google or other search engines to come to your blog.  Sometimes the journey is a straight line (the most frequent searches are for “Louis Armstrong,” “Billie Holiday,” “Frank Sinatra,” “Joel Helleny” and so on).  But occasionally imagining the original impulse in the searcher’s mind and trying to reconstruct the journey from idea to JAZZ LIVES is both difficult and hilarious.  Witness these recent examples of inexplicability:

First, we have the MIS-SPELLERS:

“man city blue blowers”

Phonetic-ese for MOUND CITY (St. Louis) which makes for a particularly testosterone-heavy group of comb-and-tissue players; men whose kazoos are formidable instruments.

lester young, lady be god

Perhaps the deification of Billie Holiday by Lester Young?

meaning atterly deplorable

Here, I don’t know if the writer was looking for a defintion of the phrase or saying that my blog was atterly, atterly to be deplored. 

was is billie holiday’s nationality

Was American, korrekt?

talk less – miss holiday

1)  I can’t say; my lips are sealed.    2)   If you don’t say anything, they take away your sick days at work?

jazz pianist and singer black overweight

I assume that someone here was thinking of Fats Waller but couldn’t recall the name, or was shy about typing in his name for fear of causing offense: the computer would shut down because of such offensive language.  One never knows, do one?

jazz vocal shout face

My first thought was that someone was looking for a Google Images piece of clip art — a singer whose face was showing the joyous possibilities of shouting in rhythm.  But then I said, “No!  Someone’s looking for information on the almost-unknown hot singer SHOUT FACE, who made three records with Billy Fowler and his Howlers in Atlanta in 1927.” 

It’s all a mystery!