“LET ME NOT BE ANNOYING”: A LIFE-GUIDE

Sometimes you hear or read something so plain but so arresting that it feels valuable immediately. You want to share it with others. You think, “If only other people functioned this way, it would be a more lovely place to live.”

I just saw this video, slightly longer than eight minutes, on YouTube. Its subject is jazz drumming. And the person speaking is Kevin Dorn, a jazz drummer born in New York City.

Kevin and I have been friends for twenty years, and he is someone I admire. I admire his drumming, to be sure, but perhaps even more than that, his deep seeing. He might be embarrassed if I called him a philosophical guide, but I always learn something from him when I talk, and I assure you it is about a subject larger than the best ways to play the hi-hat: it’s about how to live gracefully and graciously in this world.

I didn’t have the co-ordination needed to play drums, and perhaps the same is true for you. But I find this video immensely moving in its messages: it’s not didactic, and you, the viewer, may at first hard to extrapolate beyond being a drummer accompanying a soloist. But take the time. It will reward you.

“What’s so important here, Michael?” The messages are about Ego and awareness of others. They apply to conversation, the workplace, family, relationships. Put simply:

Is my behavior, so dear to me, hurting anyone else?

Could I stand to be an extra in the play rather than the star?

Could I go an interval of time without being intrusive on others?

Does everyone need to hear what I have to say?

Would silence be a more generous option?

— and so on.

There are no schools or religious orders or spiritual retreats devoted to the goal of, “Please let me not be annoying,” but perhaps there should be. Thank you, Kevin.

May your happiness increase!